Does Botox kill empathy? The truth (and the grandma who proves it).
The woman sitting in my chair about to get botox was not the woman you picture getting botox. Let’s call her Jill. Jill is a grandma to several and enjoys family cookouts and baking. She’d never had any treatments until about a year ago, and even then she was really unsure if it was right for her (“Does it mean I’m vain?”), but her daughters encouraged her to do something for herself after a lifetime of caring for others.
Now, Jill comes in every three months to get Botox in her frown lines, or 11’s, which had honestly been bothering her most of her life.
“I saw your post about women who get Botox so other people don’t think they’re angry,” Jill said, referring to a recent clip from my podcast that I’d posted on socials. “That really resonated with me. That’s exactly how I feel.”
Now, compare that story with the fact that the most frequently visited page on my website is by far a blog post I wrote entitled, “Dr says Botox kills the empathy center in your brain.” This post is visited by hundreds of people a day across the world, using search terms like “does Botox kill empathy?”
It seems that for every person like Jill, looking to feel seen in her struggle and given permission to seek reasonable treatment without judgement of being vain, there’s someone who’s similarly worried that getting Botox will cause some extreme reaction in their brain– that they will become emotionless robots.
You can read my full debunk of the “botox kills empathy” argument, but suffice to say that is patently false. It suggests that the Botox molecules somehow travel into your brain and kill cells–false. Or that you are less able to experience empathy when you have Botox–false. In fact, there is actual research that directly contradicts this assertion. With over nine million treatments done annually worldwide, if Botox turned you into a robot, we’d have an automaton population taking over the world.
Both of these arguments, vanity and turning into a robot, are really extreme interpretations of a treatment that’s actually much more nuanced and personal. They are stories that our fear invents and we tend to just believe without actually questioning them. We make the decision of whether or not to get Botox bigger than it needs to be (remember the “How screwed am I if I don’t like it” graph I made?? You’re not that screwed).
After a year and a half of Botox in her frown lines, Jill is feeling so much happier, more confident, more herself. She doesn't look like a robot, and she still has plenty of empathy for her grandkids when they fall and skin their knees.
Want to hear more from Jen? Check out these posts...
Doctor says, “Botox kills the empathy center in your brain”
How screwed are you if you don’t like it? An honest guide.
How to ask good questions at your consultation
Jen’s origin story—from “I’ll never get Botox” to full time provider
